Is it Worth it?

Saturday, July 9, 2020 Dear Younger Me, The years 2017-2020 will be the weirdest of your life. One quote I’ve heard is “The year 2020 is like looking both ways before crossing the street, and then getting hit by an airplane.” The next three years will be like that for you. It will be full of betrayal, pain, confusion, stress, guilt. Some days you’ll stay up late at night wishing it will all end. Some days you’ll be frustrated, constantly asking yourself, “What the heck?” Even today I ask myself “What the heck?” Some things are a curse in disguise. That new job your dad is getting? They’ll drive you out. Spread lies about you, sign petitions to have your removal, stand up during Sunday Morning Worship, demanding that your dad be fired. You’ll be scared to come to church. After you move, the next church will be bad too. The Youth Group is terrible, all the kids are rude, they treat the teacher with disrespect. You become a good actress. You put on a happy, “everything-is-fine,” face while you’re at church, all the while feeling miserable. Apart from that, the church doesn’t pay you enough, and your dad has to work two jobs. People leave because 1) he isn’t “visiting” enough, because he has two jobs, and 2) because if your dad tells them that they are doing something ungodly, they quit. Your best friend? Yeah, that doesn’t work out. You make a bunch of really stupid mistakes at a sleepover. Finally, you can’t handle it and you confess. That was the right decision. Good job. But, bad news, your best friend lies. She says that we never did those things. She drags it out for over a month, before her parents finally tell you to never contact them again. Your sin caused you and your sisters to lose a best friend, your brothers to lose a best friend, and your parents to lose their best friends. As a bonus, you gain anxiety issues. Then, on a global scale, there is a freaking pandemic! I’m not even sure what to think about it, and I’m living in it. It’s new, so everyone is going to freak out about it. They’ll shut down the entire world. Mandatory masks, essential workers only, six feet apart at all times, social distancing, the whole shabam. There will be tons of conspiracy theories, false information, and some people who believe the whole things a hoax. Just listen to your parents, younger me. That’s always the right thing to do. Once you finally get in a groove with the global pandemic, something ten times worse will start. A black man was killed by a cop, which sparked peaceful protests, which are not bad. But, then they burn the city. Your country will start burning to the ground. Laws are no longer being upheld, it’s impossible to know what is fake news and what isn’t, statues and our history are being torn down, everything is ending in chaos. It’s still happening. I don’t know where our country- our free, independent, amazing country- will be tomorrow. Right now your probably asking, “Is it worth it?” Even today I feel like that. Was it all worth it? Going through all of that pain? And here is my answer. Yes. It was so hard. It’s still so hard. But, it’s worth it. Sometimes the brightest miracles shine in the darkest times. Through all of this you will grow so much. You grow closer to your family, realizing that your family is the most important thing to you in this world, other than God. You rely on your parents so much and love them and appreciate them even more. You have a stronger relationship with your siblings, especially your sister. Your relationship with God will grow so much. Your come to rely on Him more than anyone, and your goal in life is just to glorify Him. You pray and feel so much better after it. You read you Bible and gain so much new information. You go to church and you learn so much from the sermons that you wouldn’t have gained before. Your theology is better, your understanding of the world is better, your understanding of sin and guilt is better, your understanding of grace is better... your relationship with God has become so much more than it was. You grow as a person. You have become so much more mature, and you understand the world around you. You know what you believe. You aren’t a shallow child anymore. Technically, your a teenager, even if sometimes you don’t feel like that. Now, you understand what you believe, and you understand what other people believe, even if you don’t agree with it. You’ve learned when to fight and when to hold your tongue. You’ve learned how to be frustrated without having a tantrum. You’ve learned how to be sad without being depressed. And, most important, you’ve learned how to be joyful even when you’re frustrated or sad, and you’ve learned how to count everything for joy. You’re happy. Love, Future You.